Sunday, May 13, 2012

To drink..or not to drink a Rockstar


For a major part of the last 3 years, I have fabricated energy by pounding Rockstars. I am not a fan of the regular Rockstars, so I drink Rockstar Punched.It is a glorious drink that can give me exactly the energy I needed to fake in order to get through rehearsals, work, or just well, mornings. They have become a part of my culture of living. I have managed a full week now without soda, but Friday night still requires a Rockstar if I desire doing anything at night. However, I think it is time to phase them out.

This week I have not needed to fabricate energy because I have ACTUAL energy! During the day I am not nearly as tired or rundown as I have been for the last few years. Now, this happens to come at a time when my stress has been reduced as well due to the semester coming to an end and knowing I have passed the California assessment for potential teachers, so I am getting a better sleep, but this goes beyond that.

I have to make a confession, normally I do not eat my first real meal until after 2pm. I cannot eat breakfast early and because I am not home often, I do not do such a good job of packing a lunch, so I do not eat on campus. Recently this changed. I am trying to at least grab something to eat before school (a banana and/or orange is the most common)and I am trying to bring food with me to eat at school. Doing this has boosted my energy, but it also means I do not need to come home and eat first thing, then get tired from eating too much since it is my first meal of the day. Nope, now I come home and get right to work. I put together whatever I need for the next day and then I eat. It means I getting work done during the day, so I do not have to wake up at 5:30, which gives me an extra 30 minutes of sleep. It also allows me to sleep better, so when I go to bed at 10:00pm, I am not worried about the next day and I actually sleep.

No joke, people undervalue the importance of sleep. For a whole summer I averaged maybe 2 hours a night. It is what allowed me to burn through all 10 seasons of Friends at an ungodly pace. Here I am two years later and I am averaging nearly 7 a night. This is a complete turn around for me and it is making everything easier.

In other health project related news, I went for a really great swim yesterday. There is something that swimming does to me that almost nothing else can. It energizes me and relaxes me at the same time. It is a rare place where my body feels no pain, but I have to worry about my self conscious image issue. When I swim, I do my best to make sure it is just me and someone to whom I am close. My girlfriend makes it a bit easier because for whatever reason she finds me attractive. I do not pretend to understand it, but it is about the most wonderful thing in the world. Seriously, a supportive girlfriend when you feel like you are the most hideous thing ever, really helps. This is still a new revelation to me. However, I cannot see myself through her eyes. I see myself through my eyes and while I have wicked pretty eyes (seriously, I do. Trust me) I see this disgusting thing every time I take off my shirt. It effectively ended my love of swimming at roughly 13 years old when I started to really start thinking about what girls thought of me. Since then, swimming has always been bittersweet. I love it, but I only enjoy it in private, you know like a Taylor Swift song.

wow, did this post ever get away from me. Like I said, the darkness is there. Allow me to say, this change is not an appearance thing, it is not even a weight loss thing in as much as I am not stepping on a scale on a daily basis, this is a change to simply feel better and feel like I will live longer in order to help the people I am meant to help by being a teacher. The Biggest Loser always has two or three teachers on it and they always talk about their students, and as I now have had my own students, I see the importance I can have in their lives. If that sounds pretentious in any way, I promise you I do not mean it to. I think if you knew me very well, this is one area where I am actually void of pretentiousness. On a daily basis I see students who d not have great, stable home lives and they come to school simply for that stability and I do not want to jeopardize that because I could not stop myself from letting my health get too far gone to overcome.

This was literally going to be a short post about Rockstar energy drinks. I guess I have too much pent up to craft short posts for now. There is a part of me that wants to delete this post so no one ever sees just how physically insecure I am. It is easier when everyone thinks I am kind of cocky.

1 comment:

  1. So glad you are already seeing the benefits of your efforts, Kyle. And it is wonderful that you are reconnecting with your love of swimming. Thank you for sharing your journey (and so eloquently, by the way). It gives me hope that I, too, can get moving and feeling better.

    ReplyDelete