Something vs one thing

I said on Facebook yesterday that I would be updating this blog today, but I was not sure exactly what the topic would be. Not much has happened in the last week in terms of my health. I am getting back on track with the work outs. I am almost running a full mile again. I did 3/4 of a mile in roughly 10 minutes the other day, but that brought with it some swelling in my knee that has put me on the shelf for a few days.

yesterday afternoon a former student showed me video of me rapping in class that she had taken from her cell phone. Martina commented that I had lost a lot of weight since then. I did not notice it right away because I was focusing all of my energy on how hardcore I was spitting Taylor Swift lyrics over an Eminem beat, but I did start to notice it as the video went on. I have lost a lot of weight. This almost feels like a total "No duh!" moment as I am roughly 70lbs lighter than I was when this video was shot, but it is a nice reminder of what I have accomplished. Numbers do not mean much to me. Math was always my most troublesome class, so when you say 70lbs, it seems like a lot and there a tangible quality to that number that is comforting, but rarely do I feel it or see it. Then this video was going on where I was wearing a shirt and tie that I still wear and I remember in April of 2012, that shirt was very fitted. I did not enjoy sitting down while wearing it out of fear my buttons would pop off, shoot one of my students in the eye and I would have a mountain of paperwork to explain that noise. Now, when I wear that shirt, it is loose on me. If it was not for my wide neck, I should probably be wearing a smaller sized shirt. I have talked about this on the blog countless times, but there are moments that are worth repeating.

It has been a weird summer thus far and I have gotten off track more than I care to remember. My eating habits had fallen by the wayside for a while and I was stress eating again. Then this video came flying at me and it reminded me where I started and where I have gotten. I am so far away from where I want to be, but I have a feeling that the next few weeks are going to bring monumental life changes for me and possibly might get me moving further on my path of healthy choices. At my heaviest I clocked in at over 350lbs. I have yo-yoed between 290-320 for my entire adult life and now here I am getting a grip on it and it is nice to have a reminder of where I started.

One of my next big goals is to get to where I can run for more than a mile without stopping for any reason. I hit this goal in March of this year, but lost it in May and I want it back. But, I also know that I need to strike a balance between pushing myself and overdoing it. I am still walking that delicate line and my body is still too out of shape to be pushed too hard. I am not trying to break myself. I am determined to have my full running mile before the end of the month. I think my goal for the end of the year is a 12 minute mile. I know that in order to achieve this, I have to stay focused, so I am going to get myself into the pool more this week and work out that way until my knee feels totally comfortable. This is a big thing Crossfit taught me: Just because you cannot do one thing does not mean you can't do SOMETHING! There were activities at Crossfit that I was just not physically ready for and there was always a modification I could make or another activity that worked similar muscles that I could do. I miss Crossfit for many reasons, but that is the biggest one. It always made me feel like I could do SOMETHING. Never underestimate the power of feeling like you can accomplish something. it is about finding the person who believes you can do something, or the job that makes you feel like you can do something. I am starting to realize that I can do lots of somethings and that the something that I cannot do, I just cannot do them YET, but I will get them!