My father, the hero

I should warn any of my readers that this post will be straying a bit from my usual health related posts, but it will tie into my journey, so please allow me this little side venture.

Growing up I always knew I had great parents. Sure, I would complain about them the way any kid/teenager did, but I knew deep down that I got lucky. In high school I had friends who would come over to my house when I was not home in order to hang out with my mom and talk to her. Why? Because my mom is intrinsically cool, but more than that, she was an open minded non judgmental mom. She never talked down to people who were younger. That is something I did not realize when I was at that age, but as I enter my almost mid-30s I see it now. One of the things for which I was often praised on evaluations from my mentor teachers and university supervisors was that I never talked down to any student. One of the reasons, I think, that kids and teenagers gravitate towards me is this concept that I do not talk down to people just because they are younger than I am. I treat a kid's problems the same way I would an adult and I always ask kids how their day is going and I treat it like it important because to that kid, it is. I learned that from my mom. I learned so much from my cool parents that I wish I could back to being a teenager and fully appreciate what they did for me. My parents loved having my friends over. One New Year's Eve my parents had all my church friends over after New Year's Eve Dance and made pancakes and bacon for all of them. I certainly did not ask for it, but my parents wanted my friends to know that my house had a sense of community. I probably never told them how much I appreciated that.

This entry however, is going to focus on my father. It can be a post about all of the great dads out there. I know plenty, but as I struggle to get healthier, I have no better role model to look towards than my own father. My dad has always been a goal oriented man. He is a man with a plan and no one sticks to plans better than my father. I grew up watching him sit down on Sundays and write letters because his goal one year was to write more letters. So he wrote missionaries, family members, and probably various other people. No one has ever stuck to their goals better than my father. I do not know how many years ago it was that he decided to get into shape, but the minute he did, he never looked back. However, it was not just about losing weight. My dad started running 5K's and now has branched out to half marathons and who knows what he has left in store for him. I hardly get to see my dad these days, but one thing I have noticed over the last few years is a change in his attitude towards his own life. My dad has always had excitement for things, but they were reserved for the things his kids did. He would get excited about my opening nights, Travis' point total on the basketball court, Jackson's stat line for baseball and Carly's stat line in softball or volleyball. He would get excited for church events he would help organize or work outings to the Giants games or Waterworld. However, in the last few years he has started to get excited at his own accomplishments. He texts me the times of his runs, not because he is bragging but because he is proud of himself for setting these goals and achieving them. My father is not a proud man, in fact, he might be the most humble man I know, so to him get excited about something he has done, fills me with such happiness and motivation.

I know one day I am going to run a 5K or something with my dad. He will probably beat me, but that is something I am aiming for. My dad is the most supportive man I know. He has supported all four of us kids in anything and everything we have ever wanted to try. He wants us to be happy. My dad sat through rap concerts with Travis and I because he knew we wanted to go and he wanted us to be happy. He has supported me in my most trying times and now that I am working on getting healthier, his support grows all of the time. I am not sure how old I was when I realized that my dad was my hero. It probably happened later in life than it should have, but I truly am a lucky person. My dad is kind and hilarious and motivated and hard working and he leads by example. If my 50+ year old dad could get into shape and run races why couldn't I? Well, I can. Things are slow right now after a fall down the stairs and some oral surgery, but I know that I have my goals in place and when I am physically healed, I will get back on that treadmill and back in that gym and work towards my goal because Hadley's do not quit.

I have learned so many great things from my dad, but not because he was telling me to watch him and act like him, he just did it. As I start to think about family and future, I always wonder what kind of dad I will be. I do not worry about being a good father because I had such an excellent role model. In sports my dad wanted to win, yes, but as a coach he practiced things like fair play and gave every player a chance to play minutes. He wanted to make sure everyone was involved. He was never once too busy to play catch with me, or shoot hoops with me, or run passing routes with me, or any of my siblings. He was home for dinner most nights and we ate as a family most nights until there were teenage jobs, and extracurricular activities to get to. Even now he drives to California to see my plays and see Travis and Carly. His kids are his life, but now he has this other part of his life that excites him and it excites me to know that I still have my own life to look forward to. Every day I wake up with a choice to be happy or not and for some reason, often times thinking about my dad makes me want to be happy. It wants me to be better. I want to be the kind of guy who whose kids' friends' think to come to if they need an adult to talk to.

Through his actions, my dad taught me how to treat a woman correctly, he taught me the importance of date nights, and laughter. I learned the value of being with the family when things are rough and when they are great. I understand why family game nights are important. I learned fair play and team work and I learned that even my smallest accomplishments are worth celebrating. However, in this journey to get healthy I have realized that I learned the importance of goals and in the last few years I have learned that it is never too late to change you life and make it the best life it can be.